The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Things I want to remember from the video and reading this week:

“The 7 Habits provide an incremental, sequential, integrated approach to the development of personal effectiveness moving us progressively from dependence (on others) to independence (taking care of ourselves) to interdependence (looking after others and

combining strengths to multiply our individual effectiveness).

“The first three habits are the basis for private victories in which we develop the fiber of our own character traits.  The second three habits are for public victories, those situations where we work with other people [public victory].  The final habit improves the effectiveness of our lives in all areas.  The 7 Habits give the ability to work from the inside out to build character of total integrity” (Summaries.com).

Habit 1 – Be Proactive: the granddaddy of all habits.  Become self-starters. Don’t hide and watch others.  Stop and start doing what they do.  Take the lead.

Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind: Picture yourself in the “end zone” see afar off and visualize what you want.  Daily activity, weekly quest, monthly goal.  Mindset of what victory is and how it will feel and/or taste.

Habit 3 – Put First Things First: once the goal line is established and the score determined, come back to the present and make the daily step by step plan to reach the goal.

Habit 4 – Think Win/Win: all highly effective people had the attitude of winning, but not at the expense of others…even our competitors.

Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood: empathetic listening.  Difficult to think win/win without knowing what winning means to our partner, then establish how we will also win.

Habit 6 – Synergize: when everyone on the team wants everyone to win, and they have listened to what that means to others, then they can combine and synergize with each other.

Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw: prepare to face the world.

Private victory precedes public victory.

Trust is key to this formula, of ourselves and amongst our peers and associates.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, ““That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increased.”

Self-Mastery and Dominion Over Myself

Lessons Learned this Week:

In a talk given in April 1975 entitled “Success is Gauged by Self-Mastery”, N. Eldon Tanner taught that a straight line is the shortest distance between two points.  He was speaking of the path we take to accomplish our goals.  We set goals and if we want to really achieve them, it is a straight shot, that of self-discipline and mastery, that will get us to our goal the quickest and without dangerous detours.  He said, “it is so evident that those who keep on the straight and narrow path leading to their goal, realizing that the straight line is the shortest distance between two points and that detours are very dangerous, are those who succeed in life and enjoy self-realization and achievement. This requires self-control and self-discipline.

“On the other hand, those who fail to keep their goals in mind and fail to discipline themselves find that they are following detours and paths that lead to failure and destruction.

“There are those who complain that to follow the straight and narrow path requires limitations, restrictions, overcoming, and doing without things that are very tempting. We must remember, however, that it guarantees victory and achievement of our goal, which is gained by setting a goal and being able to concentrate and follow an undeviating course.”

He went on to discuss how the narrow way is not the negative, confining, restrictive path we think it is.  “Narrow is a very meaningful word. Often people accuse us of being narrow-minded if we are following the straight and narrow path, which certainly does require self-restraint and self-denial. We must realize and be prepared to accept the fact that it confines us, restricts us, and limits us in certain areas. But let us fully realize that it does not fetter or shackle mankind. On the contrary, it is the way to emancipation, independence, and liberty.”  While it may seem to be confining and restricting, it will, in fact, be the very thing that gives us the ultimate independence and liberty we long for. 

Quoting philosophers, Elder Tanner noted:

“Plato said: ‘The first and best victory is to conquer self; to be conquered by self is, of all things, the most shameful and vile.’

“And da Vinci once said: ‘You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself.’ Then he goes on to say that ‘the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. … And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others.’ In other words, he cannot be a worthy father or leader.”

I was moved by the warning and replaced the words to be more self-directed, “In other words, [she] cannot be a worthy [mother] or leader.”

Considering my role as mother of 5 sons, I often wonder what example I am setting for them.  If I am disciplined, they will follow suit.  If I am slothful, they will be slothful.  If I am vulgar, they will be vulgar.  And if I am righteous, putting God first in my life, showing a true love of those things that are most important (scriptures, prayer, service, temple attendance, church attendance, etc…) then they are likely to follow suit.  So long as I live a disciplined life and find dominion over myself, I will have the ability to not only affect the lives of my boys for good, but I will also be more effective in my work, as others come to depend upon and trust my character.

The Hero's Journey

Lessons Learned this week

  

Key points from A Hero’s Journey, by Jeff Sandefer

Mr. Sandefer begins by saying that we each have a special mission that will only be successful if we have faith and courage to find our entrepreneurial calling.

All too often, however, we get caught up worrying about the wrong things, in fact, he says the journey is about us, but it’s also not about us. 

He advises - Choose the Hero’s journey:

·       Live every moment like it matters as if you have an important mission

·       What matters is not the end (what we waste our time worrying about) but how the Hero is changed on the journey!

He gives 3 steps to success:

1.     Learn how to learn

2.     Learn to make money

3.     Live a life of meaning

He says, “never give up your search for God-given gifts…find a calling that fits your special gifts.” Then he encourages:

·       ask five people who know us well to help us identify what those gifts are.  He says to ask, “what do I do better than others” and to seek for specifics.

·       Then think of the last time you were engaged in a task where you lost track of time because of the joy you found in the doing.  What is something you do for the sake of doing it?

·       A calling must also serve others.  He asks, “what need today calls out to your heart? What problems were you put on earth to solve?”

We must strive to be a good person – he advises:

·       Write a list of all the “I will not” statements.  Then if you do cross those ethical guardrails, recognize that as a signal to stop and to pause and reflect.  To stick to your guns, he notes that it is useful to write a letter to your future self so that at the moment of temptation, you can “hear a better voice”.

We must consider that at the end of our lives, we must consider who we loved and who loved us.  He advises:

·       Choose fellow travelers well

·       Don’t underestimate the power of extraordinary people.

·       We should surround ourselves by people of character because we will become like those we surround ourselves with.

·       And finally, don’t neglect or forget your precious family ties.

Our journey is not about happiness and it will not be easy, the stakes are higher than that.  But we will find satisfaction.  Our increased satisfaction will cause us to make a difference in the world. 

Finally, Mr. Sandefer notes that somewhere along the way, we will stop measuring ourselves against others.  He advises:

·       Think of someone truly grateful for but whom you never thanked.  Write a one page letter of gratitude, find them, and read it to them aloud.  He promises we will be happier and more satisfied for doing so.

·       “People who believe they are lucky turn out to be luckier.”

Being rich simply means we have learned to live on less than we earn, so time belongs to us.  

Our greatest horror at the end of our life will be if we wasted our life.  Don’t waste your life.

How Will You Measure Your Life

Lessons Learned this Week

How Will You Measure Your Life
Clayton M. Christensen

There were several key insights I gained from this talk that are powerful to me personally, and which I would like to ensure I never forget.  

• First, business management is about building up people, not accumulating money or even steering a company. Success in my business career should be focused on people and how I am leading them to be better, not on things.   
• Second, life must have purpose or I will be lost at sea “without a rudder”. I must know my purpose and remember it in every decision I make.   
• Third, I must “allocate my resources” wisely.  My resources are my time, talents, and energy.  I should be strategic and not wasteful about how I am choosing to use those resources every single day.  I can make sure the uses of those resources are purposeful and meaningful.  
•  Fourth, a culture must be established early at home. This was an insight I found reassuring, as something I can see powerful evidences of its benefits in the strong character and the confidence of the smart and capable high schoolers I now have.  In this area, we are doing well and I know I must continue to persist and not slacken my stride for the little ones still learning.
• Fifth, be firm in principles.  Even “just once” should not be acceptable when it comes to obedience to the laws of morality, or of God.   
• Sixth, smarter people are not the only ones who have something to teach me.  Be humble.  I can seek to learn something from everyone I come in contact with.  
• Finally, seventh, I must always remember the yard stick I will be measured by, and know that I cannot be distracted with the worldly measuring stick.  I must always keep focused on the Lord’s measuring stick so that one day I may stand before him and know that according to Him, my life was a success.